Subtle

I have brown boots that I got a couple years ago online for about $20. Those oh so expensive boots began to wear down this winter, and last time it rained my socks got soaking wet. I started to look for new ones, but couldn't find any that I liked that weren't insanely expensive.

Cue awesome bf.

Hey Kel, do you like these boots? Me: heck yeah.

awesome bf: well good, cause i ordered them for you.

My boots came to my house yesterday, hand delivered. Can't wait to wear them.

Visions of sugar plums danced in their heads...

Last Thursday I experienced one of the most difficult situations I hope I will ever encounter.

I am going to be vague because I must, but I will try to get the point across. I encountered twin girls, age 7 who had severe behavioral issues. Within an hour of arriving at the home, one of them began to hit, kick, scratch and pull the hair of other residents. She ran outside, into the street. She proceeded to take of all of her clothes and run around the house in just her pull-up. She then jumped on her bed, climbed of her dresser, and tried to jump and climb off of a second floor banister. Her sister and the other residents just watched while myself and our staff tried to keep her from hurting herself.

Fearing that she would eventually hurt herself, we called a mental health professional to evaluate her. The Doctor declared that she was a threat to herself and others, and that she needed to be moved to a higher level facility.

I then had the job of persuading the 7 year old child to get into the ambulance and go with the EMTs. I will spare you the heart wrenching details, mostly because I have yet to tell the story without crying. Not that there is anything wrong with tears, but my emotions are not the point of this post.

The point is, that no matter what I said, no matter what I did, nothing was going to reassure this seven year old that being buckled into an ambulance with two strangers, without her sister, or her mother, was a good idea. She screamed, and she yelled and she was scared. I would be too.

I can't seem to get the picture out of my head, especially when I am trying to sleep. (Hence the late night post) But then I think of her, and that she doesn't exactly have visions of sugar plums dancing in her head either. And I pray. I pray for her. For her sister. For their family. I pray for the plan the Lord has for all of them. I pray for the love that he has for all of us. I pray for a world that has been so overcome by sin, that a 7 year old child is wearing the effects of it.

We live in a fallen world indeed. I praise God that He has given us a Lord and Redeemer over this fallen world.

Walk on the (not so) Wild Side

Today Bry and I went to Harvey Bear County Park which is east of San Martin, just south of Morgan Hill. It was a B-E-A utiful day, and we decided to get outside and enjoy the weather.

The view

Also while we were there, I was educated on Speckle Belly Geese and Coots ( a type of bird that apparently doesn't taste very good.)

The Geese

One of the geese got separated from the rest of the gaggle (yes, a group of geese is in fact called a gaggle) which led to Bry and I's own version of BBC's Walk on the Wild Side. At any rate, it was a very nice day and great company.

I love that this place is only 15 minutes from where I live. Makes me miss camping. I love being outside, camping, being in the mountains.... its just all so relaxing.

What a Week!

Whew.... this week was full. I worked a lot, which can sometimes be a little draining. The kids that I work with are all in the Foster Care System. Most of the youth that I work with have either been abused or neglected, and that is why they are "in the system." Some have been from foster home to foster home, and have severe behavioral issues.

My job with the kids is to communicate with their schools, their social workers, their therapists and their families (where permissible) while they are staying with us at the Group Home. The kids are anywhere from ages 6-18 and stay for a varying length of time. I wish I could tell you more...but I can't. Sometimes it is just so difficult to remain encouraged. It was hard this week. Harder than it has been in awhile. There is just so much sin and corruption...and these kids.... it just brings me to the Lord even more.

This week I found a good devotional that will take me through the Bible in a year. The Word has always been the best way for me to stay encouraged. Above and beyond anything else. (sidenote: I rarely ever stay on top of things like this daily...but I am honestly going to try)

Reminder from Piper

real quick: stole this from John Piper's ministry's website (www.desiringgod.org). Its a sermon from 1998 on humility. Echoes what I was being reminded to pray about last week

James 4:13–17

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— 14 yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. 15 Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” 16 As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. 17 So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.

Humility agrees and is glad that God governs the beating of our hearts and our safe arrival at every destination. If we get there, God got us there. And if we don’t get there, God willed that we not get there. Humility gets down under this sovereign providence and nestles there gladly.

2010- Recap!

Well, 2010 is over...and it was awesome. I thought I would share a picture a month from the last year, let you all know some of what/who made this year so great!

Moved in with these beautiful, encouraging and amazing women in January.

They have been a source of encouragement, accountability and FUN all year long.

Went to Big Sur with this guy in February. I just love this picture of Bry.

He looks steady, and focused, and driven...and pretty cute too

Got a visit from this dear friend and goofball in March.

Alas, I don't have pictures from April. I spent the better part of April in the hospital. I hear there are pictures of me wile I was in the ICU on certain people's phones...but they have been firmly warned not to share them ;)

Got to celebrate kristin's graduation with my two favorites in May!

So proud of her!

Explored some of San Francisco and went on a picnic with Dano and Kristy

in June.

This guy again? :) Celebrated one year with Bryan in July.

Cruised the Caribbean with the fam in August!

Okay, I cheated...this is from August too. But I was blessed to stand next to

beautiful Rachel at her wedding in August.

No pictures from September...no real reason. I guess i just forgot to take some. Weird. It won't happen again.

Noelle and Tyler came to Pajaro with Bryan and I in October.

Lots of beach fun.

Got to see my bestest friend Jamie in November for Steve and Emily's wedding.

She lives in San Diego, so its not often we get to hang out...and have Tahoe Teas.

Had a raging Christmas party with the roomies in December.

I just wrote raging.

Twice.

And celebrated Christmas with my sisters and brother, and boyfriend and sister's boyfriend. Mom and Dad were there too...but for some reason they didnt make it into any of the pictures from that day.

All in all, 2010 was a challenging, but blessed year. I thank the Lord for all of the amazing people in my life. And all of the prayers from all of you.

Can't wait to see what 2011 brings. Thats so cliche. But I really am excited for it. Maybe I should have just said that. But saying I am excited for 2011 sounds cliche too..... oh well.

I am excited and can't wait to see what 2011 brings. hahahahaha.

Plans, Schmans

I love making plans. Plans to go to the movies, to go out to dinner, to meet someone for coffee...
plans for my career, like actually starting my Master's, working with young women, getting my counseling degree...
plans for the future, going on vacation, getting married, having kids....

I love 'em.

Lately I have been thinking about how difficult it can be to have my plans work out. Now, don't get me wrong, I honestly love the way that life has worked out so far. Yes, I haven't been able to start my Master's at Western (which is what I planned on moving to the bay area to do), but I have a job with children that challenges me every day.
However, I have been challenged by the thought of what happens if my other plans don't work out. What if I die before i can get married? Or can't stay healthy enough to have kids?

But here's the thing...having Lupus, or no spleen, or a mass in my brain, or a potential heart condition doesn't "increase my odds" of none of this happening. Because there are no odds. There is only sovereignty. And I LOVE that.

One of my favorite pastors to listen to, Matt Chandler, was diagnosed with a brain tumor in November of 2009. I was listening to one of his sermons shortly after it happened, and he said something that always stuck with me. I'm going to paraphrase: He wife asked his Doctor, who was a Christian, for the best and worse case scenario. The Doctor said, "best case scenario, you do chemo, you do radiation, it all works, and the cancer is gone. Worst case scenario, you die in a car crash on the way home."

Being diagnosed with a plethora of health problems doesn't mean something for my future other than i have health problems.

I definitely need to remind mind myself of this truth daily in prayer.