When I am in the hospital, when I am out of the hospital....realistically all of the time, I tend to make life about me. What I "need," what I "want," and expect the people I love to be those things and do those things for me. However, life doesn't work that way. People aren't created to meet our needs, they are not meant to do things for me. So why then do I expect this sometimes? I think one of the more difficult things about being in the hospital, as dumb as this may sound, is that life goes on outside of what I am experiencing. And my confession is that I have to work to accept that. I need to learn how to be a servant in what I am experiencing, not just to be served.
There are times where I know I am being selfish, and I need to work on just asking the Lord for grace in that moment. Grace for my selfishness, and mercy that I can move past it.
Progressive sanctification is a discipline. Its work. And its also a work of the heart, one that I need to pray for more.
I'll go back to work tomorrow, now a week behind, and remember that I am not needed there, that the Lord is using me there. And I will accept care and help and service from others, because it is something the Lord has provided me with right now. And I will pray, daily I hope, that grace would take root in my heart.
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